i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
