he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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