and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
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I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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