The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
