I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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