Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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