This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
