got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
