Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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