my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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