i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We have started to decorate penises.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
