So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
