you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
