I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Your cock deserves a montage
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
