He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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