no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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