that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize