In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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