I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
