I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
