why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
