I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just want nice things and good sex
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize