She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
