Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
