Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize