Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
