your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize