im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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