So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
