Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
