We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
