Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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