problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
