Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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