he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize