so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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