dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
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Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
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It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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