Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
