she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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