I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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