I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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