Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
