New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
