We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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