Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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