At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
