she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize