why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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