Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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