Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
