I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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