R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
