Well apparently he's into motor boating.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
