I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
