You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
two words...techno handjob
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
