You're my little dorito
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
